Should I tell?
For many people with multiple sclerosis (MS) it’s a nerve-racking question.
They don’t want to tell friends about their illness for fear of being
different, misunderstood, or thought of as a burden or an object of pity. The
same is often true in families.
As with nearly every situation, avoiding or disguising the truth about
multiple sclerosis usually causes more problems than it solves. It can distance
you from friends and alienate you from family members. You can actually hurt
yourself in trying to hide the truth by trying to do more than you should.
Telling the truth about your multiple sclerosis gives you the opportunity to
deepen relationships with both family and friends and gain their support. Even
children as young as 4 or 5 years old can be told in a way that won't scare
them. Supportive friends and family members won't let you withdraw or give up.
At the same time, they won't push too hard in situations where pain, fatigue,
or other problems are overwhelming.
Romance can make things trickier though. You don’t need to tell every person
you date. But you should share with the person if the relationship is
progressing toward intimacy.
How to tell someone about your multiple sclerosis
There are 4 important things to remember regardless of who you tell.
- Give them the facts, not a label that already has a definition. Your MS is
unique to you
- Tailor the facts to your audience. You'll need to talk differently to a
child than a peer
- Doing it well will take time and practice. Don’t be afraid to write down
your thoughts before you talk about it. As your confidence increases, you'll be
more able to speak openly and without apology
- Don’t expect the person to understand everything all at once. Remember how
long it took you to accept your MS. Think of this as the beginning of a longer
and deeper discussion that will hopefully help both of you grow
Source: Some tips and facts on this page are based on information
from the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Their comments are based on
professional advice, published experience, and expert opinion, but do not
represent individual therapeutic recommendations or prescription. For specific
information and advice, consult your personal physician.
